Masked Back Up

As of yesterday, Buncombe County has gone back to an indoor mask mandate. We know whose fault this is. And this is my message to them:

If you regularly consume fast food, “supplements” (fun fact: supplements don’t need to be regulated by the FDA, so you’re putting who-the-hell-knows what in your body), copious amounts of alcohol, or any drug you must purchase from a drug dealer, there are zero reasons for you not to be vaccinated at this point.

This rant has been brought to you by someone fed up with this backward momentum due to living in a world where people will say things like “but we don’t know the long term side effects yet,” but have no problem snorting a line off a public bathroom counter.

Also, if you’re unvaccinated because you don’t want the government to track you but are reading this from your smart phone (and have any social media), have a long, hard think about your life choices.

And the cherry on top are those who don’t give a shit about what happens to anyone (which I firmly believe is the case if you refuse vaccinations/masks at this point), but now all of a sudden care so much about the people of Afghanistan that they are aghast at Joe Biden’s disregard for human life and blatant cruelty. Per usual, I’m looking at my boy Madison Cawthorn, who’s attempting to show his altruistic side today by wheeling around the outskirts of the recently flooded Canton, documenting this via Instagram, then reposting the stories of people who called him selfless to his own account. WHAT A HERO.

Editor’s Note: If you’re one of my 610 Facebook followers (Editor’s Editor’s Note: Last time I clocked how many Facebook friends I had it was 440, so someone is walking around with a big head today), you may recognize parts of this rant! Congratulations in advance for catching this bout of laziness, but remember that it’s ok to plagiarize yourself.

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