You Never Know What You’re Going to Get at a Black Balsam Sunrise

Sunrise and sunset at Black Balsam Knob are two of my favorite experiences in the greater Western NC hemisphere, but…it’s rare that you’ll be alone. And I’m not just talking fellow hikers. They will be there, of course—as they should—but think about it. It’s 2023. This is the most tremendous sunrise/sunset locale within an hour’s drive of Asheville. There’s an entire bald peak to play with that’s less than a 10-minute walk from a paved parking area. THE INFLUENCERS WILL BE OUT. 

I might be ragging on the influencers a little too much here, too. Because the drones will also be out. So will the engagement photographers, senior picture photographers, portrait photographers…and creepy singing maybe-Christians-mabye-cultists. In my experience, sunset is the wilder time. It makes sense. In general, people don’t like to wake up early. And sunsets aren’t disgustingly late. Or an inconvenient time to invite people to a wedding because you won’t just get engagement photos or senior pictures at a Black Balsam sunset, there’s a chance you’ll get full weddings. I was there one night when—swear to God—four separate weddings were occurring, one with at least thirty guests (all dressed in formal wedding attire—I feel like if I were getting married at a popular hiking locale, I’d just have Patagonia-chic be the dress code). One time, a couple asked me to be the witness to their wedding. I politely declined—it just felt weird—and the bride called me a piece of shit. 

Up until last weekend, I’d never seen a pregnancy shoot at sunset. In fact, I still haven’t. But I did run into a pregnancy shoot at sunrise last weekend. And it was wild. 

Picture this. A black lace robe. Fully opened. Push-up bra. Emerald satin.  Black velvet panties. Heels. A bare pregnant stomach being caressed behind by whom I feel safe assuming was the father, himself clad casually in jeans and a sensible plaid button-up. A young, lithe photographer is snapping away, yelling “yas queen” at the photo shoot subjects. 

Now picture this. An outfit change is required. The emerald bra is replaced by a black velvet bra that matches the panties. In order to do so, it’s removed from the pregnant woman, who, before replacing it, just lets her breasts swing about in the crisp morning air. 

Listen, I’m mostly not here to judge. Nudity is natural. Breasts don’t have to be sexualized (even though I’d argue that this was 100% a sexy/sexual photoshoot). It’s just…you never know what to expect at a Black Balsam Knob sunrise or sunset, but even after seeing some shit, pregnant nipples before 7 AM was a shock to the system. 

I also wonder like…who are these photos intended for. A newspaper pregnancy announcement? Hanging in the home? Instagram (I mean…probably). You know, to each their own. Shockingly, this isn’t the weirdest public pregnancy photoshoot I’ve ever stumbled upon this year. That honor goes to the woman dressed up like Princess Jasmine crawling across the side of a large fountain in Central Park last spring.