Overheard on Haywood Road: Part 3

We’re back with another edition of Overheard on Haywood Road, my first official Asheville Explorer blog series that chronicles the (mostly) hipster nonsense one effortlessly experiences while hanging out in coffee shops, breweries, bars, restaurants, stores, and the sidewalk along the West Asheville portion of Haywood Road. You can revisit parts 1 and 2 here and here if you’re inclined. 

Without further ado—and with as little context as possible (though sometimes, I just can’t help myself)—here we go:

• “Then I figured out I’m not even a lesbian…I’m a bookworm.” Editor’s Note: I truly did not see this pivot coming. Also, one can be both, yes (lesbians, please chime in here)? 
• “He’s a SoundCloud rapper and one of my many mistakes.”
• “I don’t trust anyone who grew up here, who has lived their whole life in Asheville. There’s something sketchy about them.” Editor’s Note: This person spent the previous 15 minutes railing on tourists.
• “I’ve been really immersed in the Asheville drug scene for over two decades.”
• “On a scale of 1 to aces, how cool are my shorts?” Editor’s Note: This man asked everyone in the coffee shop I was working in this question, and almost everyone answered, “Aces.” When he was three people away from asking me, I packed my things and left because his shorts looked like they were made from the same material as the purse every high school stoner girl you know wore, and also, were bunchy in a way that made it look like he shit himself. 
• “So, she had this guy pay her to suck his dick but then got all out of whack when he didn’t want to date her?” This feels like a fair question. 
• “I bet Shakespeare loved weed.”
• “Is your matcha ceremonial grade?”
• “I can’t believe they expect me to pay utilities when I take the garbage out every week.”
• “I was bisexual once. I was also pansexual once. I was also queer once.” Editor’s Note: If you’re wondering what this person identifies as now…I think it’s a bookworm (this was the same person as the first bullet, but the two comments were said ten minutes apart.

And finally, I’ll leave you with this deep, meaningful exchange:

Person 1: Have you ever been on the Taconic Parkway? 

Person 2: Is that a road? 

Person 1: It’s far out.