The Ashevilleization of Gloria

I remember the first time I clocked exactly what a banger Laura Branigan’s 1982 hit “Gloria” was. It was sometime circa 2014 and I was ensconced in the warm embrace of Sea Isle City, New Jersey’s Ocean Drive’s—colloquailly known as “The OD”—No Shower Happy Hour, a Garden-State phenomenon where hordes of beach-bound suburbanites eschew the gorgeous weather of the South Jersey shore to pack into a dark bar that looks and smells like a post-kegger college basement and listen to a band comprised of two older gentlemen that play no instruments, but simply sing-shout to the backing tracks of various popular hits.

 It’s one of my favorite places to be. 

This particular No Shower Happy Hour was memorable because I’d corralled the biggest group of friends yet—a mix of high school friends, college friends, and family members—to go down the shore, and spirits were already high. During the brand’s mid-set break, whoever controlled the music put on “Gloria,” and for whatever reason, the crowd—including my whole group—lost its collective mind in the best way possible. It’s toggled between my second and fourth most-played tracks on Spotify Wrapped every year since. 

I love No Shower Happy Hour at the Jersey Shore because I unequivocally love cover bands and DJs who prioritize fun over taste. Now, I’d like to think I have decent—and dare I even say, interesting—taste in music, but if I’m out with friends, I want to listen to, I don’t know, Billy Joel, Back Street Boys, a Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow duet or “I Wanna Be Bad” by WIlla Ford; fun, nostalgic music people know the words to which have zero pretension. 

I’ve written about this before, but one of my main gripes with Asheville is that while there’s tons of good music, there isn’t nearly enough fun music. You could find any indie artist you’d like, plenty of tunes with taste and street cred, and I’ve become a real convert to Americana because of my tenure here, but few and far between are, say, a cover band playing Sweet Caroline. I think it’s because, in general, Asheville takes itself rather seriously, including in the music it plays and produces, which is why my initial reaction to Asheville-based artist Angel Olsen covering my beloved “Gloria” was an eyeroll. 

I first heard of Olsen because a former coworker worked on a couple of her videos, and while her stuff is not necessarily something I’d play at a pool party, or suggest for No Shower Happy Hour, I like, particularly “Shut Up and Kiss Me” and “Greenville,” the latter of which has been making my Spotify Wrapped top 100 the past two years (“go on back to Greenville” is such a niche and glorious Ashevillian insult).

Her version of “Gloria” is moody. And it’s sad, which makes sense because despite Branigan’s version being an upbeat party song, lyrics like “If everybody wants you, why isn’t anybody calling?” are inherently depressing. It also does what good covers do, which is to reframe the mood or message of a song. 

Asheville tries to elevate things that inherently don’t need elevating. They do it with hot dogs, They do it with saunas. They do it with fast food. I’m a firm believer that not everything needs to be elevated. Not everything needs to be brimming with taste. But the Ashevilleization of “Gloria?” I dig it.