My Annual Parkway Road-Rage Rant

This is a somewhat annual post I make at some point on this blog or social media that culminates in one simple fact: at some point, I really fear I’m going to have a severe road rage issue on The Blue Ridge Parkway. 

I’ve complained about it before, so I won’t harp on it again because it’s truly not solving anything, but it just seems more and more that people have stopped adhering to social norms and have zero respect for anyone around them. 

Case in point: the people who drive so fucking slow on the Parkway that they have dozens of cars trailing behind them but refuse to pull over and let faster drivers by. I’m not advocating speeding this very windy road, but most parts of the parkway have a speed limit that’s 45 MPH. and, for example, I recently followed a car that was going 10 MPH at multiple points (they would slow down to almost 5 MPH in tunnels, which…seems dangerous). 

Here’s my take on the situation:

1. If you’re scared driving on a road this high and curvy, I get it. But if you’re scared of heights or curves, you shouldn’t be driving this to began with.
2. If you are trying to enjoy the scenery and don’t want to be rushed, I also get it, but pull over at one of the many overlooks to both do that and let drivers who want to make it to hiking trails in a reasonable amount of time do so. 
3. Again, if you want to take a picture, pull over at one of the many scenic overlooks to let other people pass. 

Okay, fine, so I harped, but it makes me extra angry because of all the overlooks I’ve been mentioning. The parkway has overlooks every few miles or so specifically to provide vantage or resting points. Not taking advantage of those while you’re inconveniencing others is just plain rude. 

What I haven’t complained about before is the same behavior on the commuter portions of the parkway. 

Between Asheville’s Charlotte Highway and Brevard Road, the Blue Ridge Highway descends out of the mountains and passes through Asheville. While the parkway is, as one disgruntled letter to the editor I read from yesteryear puts it, designed “to ‘provide opportunities for high-quality scenic and recreational experiences,’ for motor vehicles, hikers and cyclists,” this section of the parkway is very much used for people to commute to work, shopping, going out to eat, etc., etc. (I don’t commute to work anymore, but when I first moved here, I commuted on the BRP). While said disgruntled writer says, “Nowhere in its original mission will one find ‘as commuter highway’ or ‘shortcut to subdivision housing’,” I’d argue that those sections are designated as commuter sections: they’re the only parts of the parkway that stay open all winter. Why? Not because people are looking at scenery (there is literally nothing to see on those sections, except trees), but because people are commuting. 

Again, there are no views here, so I don’t know why people are going 20 MPH here, but…they do, and it’s doubly annoying because:

1. Again, there are no views to speak of. 
2. There are no overlooks for these folks to pull over in (not that self-involved assholes who engage in this kind of behavior would have the courtesy to use them). 

What does this result in? Well, an hour and a half round trip ride to get a smoothie bowl that should’ve taken a max of 40 minutes. 

Again, this post is just an annual excuse for me to bitch. I won’t be trying to fix things in any meaningful way or interrogate whether or not I’m self-involved for expecting all the drivers of the BRP to cater to my life…but I’m sure I’ll be back around this time next year with a different version of this same rant.