Overheard on Haywood Road: Part 4

I’m back with another edition of Overheard on Haywood Road, my semi-regular series chronicling the hipster nonsense one overhears when they spend time in the coffee shops, breweries, bars, restaurants, sidewalks, and stores along the West Asheville portion of Haywood Road. 

So here goes. I usually attempt—and usually fail—to provide zero context for these. 

• “Once I realized I was having a lot of car sex, I looked into the situation more and realized we were fucking in my car because he didn’t have a car or a home, so that’s how I realized I was fucking a homeless dude.”
• “I decided to stop drinking midway through my pregnancy.” Editor’s note: I know. Dark. But it gets darker. “They say it’s fine to drink while breastfeeding as long as it’s just beer.”
• “I’m a Victorian ghost.” Editor’s note: This was on Halloween…and it just looked like a regular old zombie, to be honest. 
• “You can’t let him still live with you for free if he’s going to fuck that other girl behind your back.”
• “I’m like, not like most other girls.” Editor’s Note: She looked exactly how you think.
• “But do you have pistachio or date milk?” 
• “I’m a vibes girl now.”
• “I come here for the vibes, mostly.”
• “The vibes here are better than the Double Crown.” Editor’s Note: These three were not said in succession. I just grouped them for thematic purposes. Apparently, “the vibes” are of utmost importance in West Asheville. Also, the vibes at said locale were not—and generally are not—better than the Double Crown. 

And finally, “You must get off the gas pumps, or we’re going to have to shut this whole thing down early.” This was said via loudspeaker at the 2023 version of the gas station rave I stumbled upon at the Brew Pump last Halloween and revisited again this year. As with the year prior, the vibes there were exceptional.