Clothing Optional Partying on the Laurel River Trail

I hesitate to call The Laurel River Trail a hidden gem due to how many cars line the parking lot every time I go, but it feels like one since so many people I know here in Asheville have never been. Just ten minutes from Hot Springs and fifteen or so minutes passed Marshall, the Laurel River Trail is easy to build a day trip around and only about 35 minutes from Asheville. 

I like The Lauren River Trail because it’s relatively flat (it follows an old rail bed), you get sun, and there are plenty of spots along the somewhat confusingly named Big Laurel Creek to stop and take a dip as you walk. The trail is 3.6 miles from end to end, though I don’t know that I’ve ever traversed the entire thing. 

I decided to hike the Laurel River Trail last weekend because I was dogsitting. I figured the flatness would be easy for my dog friend Lou, and she’d enjoy frolicking in the water.

I’ve done sections of the Laurel River Trail half a dozen times. Every time, I make note to myself that this would be a great place to come with a group of friends, some lunch, a portable speaker, and some beverages, as the aforementioned spots to stop and take a dip are overwhelmingly outfitted with large flat rocks perfect for sitting at. Unlike the other times I’ve done the trail, which started in the morning, last weekend I started just before noon, so it was probably 2ish when I turned around and started back for the car, and apparently 2 PM is the party person witching hour at Laurel River Trail. 

It appears I was onto something regarding the trail being the perfect place to chill with friends for the afternoon because the families I’d been passing going down the trail initially were now replaced by groups of people lugging coolers, flotation devices, and, more often than not, already imbibing. The swimming holes were packed with revelers sunning themselves, playing music, and enjoying a hot, WNC summer day. It felt like one big party, and I felt left out a bit since everyone else had beer and music, and I just had water and a dog. 

I also had my clothes on, which it seems were also optional last weekend. 

I’d scouted out a little space on the opposite side of the river while walking down the trail that I noted would be a good spot for Lou and me to wade across and chill for a bit—I wanted to get some good sun for me and some leashless time for her. As we got closer, I noted a group already there. As I mentally cursed them, I noted that these three women and two men were butt-ass naked sunning themselves, which, like…god bless. While yes, nudity shouldn’t be sexualized and be jarring, this is America, not Europe, and felt more than a bit jarring—I am surprised you don’t see this more often in WNC with all its hippie-dippie residents. 

I wasn’t expecting to come across more nude hikers, especially on the trail (for some reason going to the other side of the river to disrobe made sense?), but lo and behold, about fifteen minutes later, I came across a couple about my age coming towards me wearing Tevas…and only Tevas. I smiled at them and tried to maintain eye contact, but…they wanted to chat, and to their credit, acted like their nudity was indeed natural. “What a cute dog,” the woman said, stopping. “Is she friendly?” I said she was, and the woman then asked if she could pet Lou and leaned down to do so when granted permission. 

“Is she a bichon?” the man asked. 

I said I wasn’t sure. I told him I was dogsitting and she’s a rescue who never got her dog DNA done. “She looks like a bichon,” he said. “Do you know any bichons? She has a bichon face.” I told him I didn’t but wanted to say, “Your dick is in her bicho face, bro.” 

The rest of the hike was uneventful, but I want to return on a late Saturday afternoon sooner or later and make a day out of it. I’ll be wearing pants the whole time, though.